The Three Little American Girls

Spoiler alert, today's post is about poverty and empathy.  I know many others have had more difficult circumstances.  Particularly those who will have a change of resources in war torn countries.  However, like many who self reflected during the pandemic, I want to share my story and hope it helps to see those in poverty as not 'less than' or 'did things wrong & should've known better'.  Especially when there are SO many at poverty level in our country that should be more like a heaven on earth.  Building equity starts with empathy and it is my hope that as  my sister and I share our stories (don't worry some will be quite a bit more humorous as we continue) we can  help discourage the negative ideas that some may have on people in poverty.

The Three Little American Girls

Once upon a time there were three little American girls.  They grew up in a tiny village in the middle of a great country full of opportunity.  Large cities were spackled across the domain with a plethora of experiences just waiting to be experienced.

These three little girls grew up surrounded by nature for much of their delicate youth and afterwards until teens resided in the tiny village without even a stoplight.  Each had an amazing talent of their own.  The oldest sister could befriend anyone and was so gregarious that everyone was delighted to hang out with her.  She had a talent for basketball and exceeded as a team player so much that she was offered a college scholarship for the skill.  The middle sister had artistic and creative skills that earned her playground money in elementary school and had a few requests to paint or design objects. Unlike her older sister and quite polar opposite she was quiet and timid.  The youngest sister had an uncanny ability to remember details, specifically (but not limited to) people and movies.  You could say a line from a movie and she would be able to identify the movie and most of the cast.  She was unlike both of her sisters in that she had some difficulty in school and although she was not timid, she was not overly social either.  

Although their growing up environment was chaotic, including dramatic and changing scenes as well as family members,  these girls were tethered together as a true constant in one another’s lives.  Sure the typical sibling squabbles such as labels such as ‘adopted’ were uttered or throwing one’s fishing pole and then the other’s baton over the creek occured or even locking the quiet one in a couple of confined spaces.  Despite these small spats the three always had one another to be there when needed, with a common understanding.

Now, as all lives go, paths can go in various ways depending on the foundations laid.  The 3 little girls had two loving parents, although their significant others continued to change, they remained a constant in the girl’s lives.  Unfortunately the parents had a few challenges themselves.  Each one earning their GED and beginning parenthood at an extremely early age.  With multiple children, no endowments to build a family platform, and perhaps the struggle of youth’s ability to regulate under pressure this set a precarious stage for the 3 little girls.  Regardless, each one set out to stake a home.

The first little girl quickly left the homefront.  Basketball scholarship at the ready she worked (as she and all of them did) through the last years of high school and afterwards at a local food joint.  Her cheerful candidness mixed with truth and kindness placed her as a manager.  She often closed the establishment.  Of course her sociability often led to hanging out in the parking lot with coworkers for quite some time.  One night she was doing just this and while she was sitting on the back of a car the driver thought it would be funny to drive forward.  This resulted in a 2 week coma for the oldest little girl with a lingering effect.  The scholarship had to be forgotten and within a couple of years she had her first little one.  She maintained herself and through the course of her life she ended up working at a correctional facility ensuring the safety of the public.  Someone has to and she did.

The second little girl was directed by her high school that she should go to college.  Art was heavily suggested so she went directly into a program bypassing pre-req coursework as advised by the school.  She began quietly engaging in graphic design and being a curious bystander at parties who would only really open up if she had been drinking.  After her first year in the program she suddenly lost some of her sight, ended up having brain surgery and had to leave the art program due to vision difficulties and was at a loss of what to do next.  She took many years but felt validated by ending up with two degrees in her undergrad in the area of education.  She continued in this field for years attending to the vast needs of underserved students and had a couple little people of her own.  She tried to balance her introvert directness, need for being able to accomplish objectives and sense of justice within the social public school system with the chaos of,  at times, understaffed self contained classrooms.  Although slowly dipping into depression she continued as she felt that ‘someone had to’. 

The third little girl squeaked out of high school with the parental success (they really meant well, just did not understand) of not medicating for attention deficit.  She had to be picked up on occasion from poor social choices amid her teen years.  She moved across several jobs, lived with the second little girl for some time and then made it on her own.  She had her first child in her teens and another shortly after.  Her ex husband (who rarely had a job) managed to get all assets after their split due to a technicality of how they had purchased their home (his parents were on documents) that was located on his parent’s property.  This is where the third little sister ordered her own mind and made it through the situation and rented for several years before meeting a more worthy mate and purchasing their own house.  She trained as a pharmacist technician and continued the profession at a state mental health facility. Someone has to help in this area.

The big bad wolf of poverty, instability and chance in environmental droppings rose up frequently to blow on the 3 little girl’s lives.  Whether it was low self esteem and accepting less than they deserved (romance or respect), whether it was a financial deficit playing field where it limited their access to events, objects or opportunity…it always seemed to be something.  Despite each working in public service areas, in fact all of them working for the government in some capacity, they remained in a low income state.  Not for lack of effort with their work, for their father had instilled in them a strong work ethic, but for poor choices made due to earlier world blows that hit individually or in groups.  Poor choices that often had a tint of preyed choices.  The preyed choices had some examples such as taking on quick loans with high interest rates, quickly bonding with a partner to make up for the instilled low self worth and reactive decisions due to low regulation skills from reduced parental instructional prompting.

Luckily the three little girls had each other, their family as well as the kind hearted community members in the school and church to try to deflect the blows of the wolf of poverty.

But the wolf of poverty blows strong.  Especially generational poverty.  And despite their hard work in caring and safety fields they continued to struggle just as many many citizens do who have similar stories.  The struggle and disparity is real and the mental effect of envy and debasing yourself for envious thoughts make the struggle even harder.  The story of the three little girls has not ended yet.  They will continue to struggle as happily as they can to make it so their children’s lives are less affected by the wolf.  As SO  MANY  people in the world do. 

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